When I last wrote about my play, I’d emailed the manuscript to the Artistic Director of the Post5 Theatre. Soon after, I was assailed by doubts. Maybe I’d sent it too soon, without checking for typing errors, or dropped lines or the need to rewrite entire scenes.
Doubt is my way of preparing for disappointment. Hamlet’s despair becomes my mantra: “If it be now, ‘tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now… the readiness is all.” (Hamlet, V, ii )
To my surprise, the words did come and sooner than I imagined: Could I arrange to meet the director?
I read the message twice, afraid my eyes were playing tricks. After 30 years of standing in the wings was it possible my dream might take center stage?
Aware that it was possible, my landscape changed with the speed of a falling knife. No longer facing rejection, opportunity produced a new fear. A unfulfilled dream lives in hope. One that threatens to become reality carries with it the potential for failure and humiliation.
Courage comes in many forms. There are heroes who risk their lives to save others. There are champions of causes whose freedom may be at stake. Exiles flee across hostile borders to face an uncertain future. My circumstance compared to none of these. Yet I needed courage. Agreeing to meet the director felt as if I’d consented to appear naked upon a well lighted stage.