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The Burden Of 5,000 Friends

Dec 18, 2019
by Caroline Miller
China's mass surveillance, Facebook, friends on Facebook, Jerry Epstein, Joel Stein, Spotted Risk
2 Comments

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A young woman from Kenya sent me a friendship request on Facebook the other day.  Because I  lived in east Arica for a time, I agreed. Seconds later a new message popped up.  This one was from Facebook. The woman whose friendship I’d accepted had 5,000 already. The website wouldn’t allow her more.

My first thought was why would someone want 5,000 friends?  My second was who had I almost welcomed into my circle?

In today’s world, news travels so fast a reputation can be damaged overnight. Having too many casual acquaintances invites mischief. That’s probably why a company called Spotted Risk was born.  It offers “disgrace insurance” to those in need. No doubt Jerry Epstein’s friends are gobbling up policies at a hefty premium. (“Gifts,” by Joel Stein, Town&Country, Dec. 2019, pg. 40.)

Of course, people can do research on their own. Algorithms exist to determine if one’s personal connection to a scoundrel poses a strong or weak liability.  (Ibid pg. 40.) But given all that’s required, I’m stunned by the women in Kenya and her 5,000 friends. Perhaps she lives on a remote island and doesn’t care about reputation.

I decided to do research about her on my own and contacted a “mutual” Facebook friend. He’d never heard of her, he replied.

Of course, China has the art of screening for character mastered.  The government uses mass surveillance to keep tabs on its citizens and their circle of friends.

Without question, technology has changed social norms from those of the past. It has certainly redefined the meaning of “friend.” With everyone able to snoop on the internet, choosing your pals may require more than listening to your mother’s opinions about them.

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2 Comments
  1. Anne Morin December 18, 2019 at 7:12 am Reply
    I always just click on the photo of someone who wants to be friends first; then I scan their page and see what they're up to. If it's all religious stuff, that's a no; if it's all buy my product or go to my gig and nothing else, I shake my head as I move on to the next inquirer. And so on. I'm looking for conversationalists, reasonable debaters, people who have something going on in their lives besides the big I. I still have too many people who are "friends" but at least I very, very rarely have a problem.
    • Caroline Miller December 18, 2019 at 8:57 am Reply
      It sounds like a pretty good formula.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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