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My Blog Picture Is Old, Not Me

Dec 17, 2018
by Caroline Miller
Angelina Jolie, Dysmorphia, Facebook friends, Instagram, Kermit the Frog, photo filters, Snapchat
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Courtesy of google.com

“You look better in person than you do in your blog picture,” said a former high school student of mine from 40 years ago.  He was in town for a class reunion and looked me up.  His remark I took to be gracious rather than true.  The blog  picture is me at 72.  At 82, I’ve seen enough change to  wonder if I should sit for a new one. 

If anyone is getting younger, it’s some of my Facebook friends.  And more glamorous.  Their images emerge from circles of light or sparklers or holiday wreaths, looking as though they’ve spent the last month on the beach in Hawaii.   

Until recently, I knew nothing about Snapchat or Instagram, so it would follow, I knew nothing about filters.  With them, I understand, people can edit their features to resemble Angelina Jolie, both painlessly and without the loss of a single drop of blood.  I’m tempted to try these devices to see if they can erase my jowls. What a relief that would be.  It’s tiring to smile  like Kermit the Frog to see them gone.

Of course, nothing is either good or ill but people make it so.  These false likenesses are having their effect.  People are showing up for plastic surgery, not with pictures of  Angelina Jolie as a guide, but with altered images of themselves.  I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I must be honest.  Too many young people in these altered states resemble Tim Burton’s big-eyed corpse bride.  (“Snapchat Dysmorphia,” Wired, Nov. 2018 pg.22.)

No doubt plastic surgeons are happy about the remodels,  and I hope, after their stitches heal, patients are happy, too.  Psychologists, on the other hand, are developing frown lines.  What they see in all this image tinkering  is a new mental  illness: Snapchat Dysmorphia.  The label, I bet, doesn’t make Snapchat happy.

At 82, after viewing so many distorted faces, I’ve decided to dispense with vanity.  I’m sticking with Kermit the Frog.

 

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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