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One Of These Days…

Apr 17, 2018
by Caroline Miller
Fortune Magazine, standing improves healh, Stanley Bing, You Can't 'Stand' Business
6 Comments

Stanley Bing is a columnist who appears regularly on the last page of the monthly editions of Fortune Magazine.  I don’t know why he’s included among serious speculations about the stock market and China’s currency.  But he is.  And he makes me laugh.

This May he wrote petulantly about medical studies that insist exercising for an hour each day won’t help if the rest of the time a person sits or lies down.  (“You Can’t ‘Stand’ Business,” by Stanley Bing, Fortune, May 2015, pg. 120.)  Despite the advice of experts, he refuses to consider one of “those silly standing desks that make you look like you’re the captain of a proud vessel, chained to the mast and heading off into the unknown polar climes.” (Ibid, pg 120)  He’s decided to ignore the research, thinking, “what I don’t know can’t kill me… Yet.” (Ibid pg. 120)

 Bing is braver than I am.  When I moved to the retirement center, I brought a tall desk with me and I write several hours a day on my feet.  My body doesn’t seem to appreciate the sacrifice. What I get for my effort is a pair of numb heels.  Understandably, I’ve come to share Bing’s disgruntlement.  Life’s hard enough without having to face it like a corn stock.  If I ruled the world, every medical prescription would include a recliner and a bottle of champagne.  

 Surely, these researchers who prod us to stay on our feet can’t be serious.  How do they suppose I’m to have a colonoscopy?  A root canal?.  Open heart surgery?  Worse, am I,  like a horse, to sleep standing up?  To be honest, when we talk about statistics, I doubt my life expectancy is worse than a policeman’s who walks the Bronx, or a postman’s who, while humped over with  a mail sack, dodges a wilding of dogs.

It’s time for these medical professionals to get reasonable about their health advice.  I refuse to spend my entire life on a treadmill, either real or metaphorical.  Doing so  might increase the number of hours I live, but it won’t make them more fun.   Believe me, ladies and gents, I get it.  I do.   One of these days, I’m going to die.  But tell me this, if you know so much.  How come a cat takes naps and still has 9 lives?

(Originally posted 7/9/15)

cat napping

Courtesy of www.speedyremedies.com

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6 Comments
  1. Judy Farrell July 9, 2015 at 9:29 am Reply
    Hmmmm.......these folks who stand at their desks are also expected to be frequently walking around or moving their legs since long term standing still is not recommended. Long term sitting no longer a good thing......take a long airplane trip and if you don't end up in the hospital with clotted blood in your leg, you will notice that you do not feel so well as you walk through the airport. So what I do now at almost 80 when watching tv, writing, reading, knitting is to frequently jiggle around my bottom and move my feet and legs. It's not a bother, yet keeps all the juices flowing. Before I began this routine, I ended up in ER being treated with shocks to my heart, now taking anti-coats. Prior to these events I was a skinny, sedentary couch potato. Although frequently moving about had not been my style, I must admit that I definitely have more energy, sleep and feel better. I am not one to rigorously follow dietary and exercise regimes, but am now a believer in frequent movement of this old body.
    • Caroline Miller July 9, 2015 at 9:53 am Reply
      Thank you Judy for sharing your experiences. Jiggling my bottom works for me, except during a colonoscopy.
  2. Christine Webb July 10, 2015 at 7:08 am Reply
    Happy to read you've joined the 'stand for a bit' bandwagon. Not sure if, or why it works in the long run to stand, but it certainly is easier to step away from ones desk in any direction when standing than when sitting and I enjoy that benefit. If there is safety in numbers, it's comforting to know that almost all of the 100 office employees at work are standing at their desk or have the option to do so--with so many doing this, it must be a good thing, right? In regards to the numbness in your heels. I have a thought. More than likely you're already standing on carpet but that may not be enough support. Have discovered that standing on a foam pad made specifically for this purpose has made all the difference in the world and my feet and legs are most grateful. If the goal is to keep everything moving smoothly, I'm hoping that standing still is exactly what the doctor ordered.
    • Caroline Miller July 10, 2015 at 8:07 am Reply
      Yes, I'm standing on a rug but a foam pad sounds like a great idea for anyone who wants to try standing. Thanks for sharing.
  3. Maggi White April 17, 2018 at 9:34 am Reply
    You remind me of my son-in-law who doesn't eat right, etc., but says, "well, at least I'll die happy." Happy with lots of ailments that include discomfort during his final years? Doesn't impress me. Heredity plays a good part and in your family longevity is a bonus.
    • Caroline Miller April 17, 2018 at 1:07 pm Reply
      I agree. Attention to health is important. But I'm keeping my cat naps.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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