CONTACT CAROLINE
facebook
rss
tumblr
twitter
goodreads
youtube

  • Home
  • Write Away Blog
  • Books
    • Books
    • Trompe l’Oeil
    • Heart Land
    • Gothic Spring
    • Ballet Noir
    • Book Excerpts
  • Video Interviews
  • Press
    • News
    • Print Interviews
    • Plays
    • Ballet Noir in the Press
    • Trompe l’Oeil In The Press
    • Gothic Spring In The Press
    • Heart Land Reviews
  • Contact
  • About
  • Resources
    • Writer Resources
    • Favorite Blogs
    • Favorite Artists



Guilt, Shame And Redemption

Apr 25, 2016
by Caroline Miller
creativity and sarcasm, Diane Kwon, Fancesca Gina, For Shame, guilt, Oscar Wilde, sarcasm has a good side, shame, The Surpising Benefits of Sarcasm
2 Comments

Guilt and shame seem to describe the same human condition. Both reactions arise from having done something wrong.  According to the experts, however, the two are different.  Guilt is a response to a specific action, an event external to an individual.  Stealing a cookie from a shop evokes guilt, for example.  Being external, the deed is repairable.  One goes back to the shop and pays for the sweet. Shame, on the other hand, is an internal reflex, the private acknowledgement people feel when they know they have let themselves down.  (“For SHAME,” BY Diane Kwon, Scientific American Mind, May/June, 2016 pg. 67.)

When shame becomes publicly exposed, it “triggers a deluge of painful consequences that in no way ensures people will mend their ways,” including anger, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. (Ibid pg. 67.)  Private shame, however, particularly if a person sees an opportunity to right the wrong “is a strong motivator for good behavior” and is more apt to induce a desire for change than guilt. (Ibid pg. 67.) 

image of compassion

Courtesy of www.sharefaith.com

Surprisingly, sarcasm is a form of public shaming that, if done with a light touch or humor, has a positive effect.  One benefit is creativity.  (“The Surprising Benefits of Sarcasm,” by Francesca Gino, Scientific American Mind, May/June 2016, pgs. 20-21.)  Researchers  have found that in a sarcastic exchange, the mind is focused and this greater clarity leads to greater creativity. (Ibid pg. 21.)  Or, as Oscar Wilde once observed, “It is the critical spirit that creates.” (Ibid pg. 20.) Of course, this form of conversation is more palatable between people who trust one another, but even in these circumstances, sarcasm should be used sparingly for the sake of the relationship.

The more we learn about ourselves, we come to appreciate that as a species we are complex, full of dark and light mater which is interchangeable, depending upon circumstances.  Even our existence depends upon a duality.  As individuals, we are bent upon personal survival.  Yet given our frailty, we survive best in societies.  Guilt, shame, these tools have no meaning to the hermit but in a society, they are strings that both limit and secure the boundaries of human conduct.  As individuals we are always engaged in finding the delicate balance between satisfying our wishes and conforming to standards for the good of the whole.  What a daunting task for creatures who know little of themselves.

If I ruled the world, I’d decree we show to ourselves and others more compassion.  Our society is too much awash in moral righteousness for my taste.

 

 

 

Social Share
2 Comments
  1. Betsy April 25, 2016 at 12:21 pm Reply
    Shame can be a life long pattern when a child has been overtly shamed, "shame on you", or has taken it on when molested. Guilt is not the same, because the "guilty" is able to think about the event that triggers it. Shame is like being covered with excrement and unable to wash it off. When carried into adulthood, it can become a physical illness or obesity that becomes intractable. The earlier we can intervene with the child, the earlier he/she can learn to think about the shame, and learn that it does not belong to him/her, but the abuser.
    • Caroline Miller April 25, 2016 at 12:51 pm Reply
      Beautifully expressed. Thank you.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

*
*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

Subscribe to Caroline’s Blog


 

Archives

Categories

YouTube-logo-inline2 To access and subscribe to my videos on YouTube, Click Here and click the Subscribe button.

Banner art “The Receptive” by Charlie White of Charlie White Studio

Web Admin: ThinPATH Systems, Inc
support@tp-sys.com

Subscribe to Caroline's Blog


 

Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Sitemap | Privacy Notice

AUDIO & VIDEO VAULT

View archives of Caroline’s audio and videos interviews.


Copyright © Books by Caroline Miller