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Nailing The Hyppocrites

Sep 12, 2013
by Caroline Miller
"The Feminine Mystique", Betty Friedan, child care in World War II, Phyllis Schlafly
6 Comments

I sat down to tea with a woman who’d retired recently. She was the daughter of a dear friend, now deceased, and so we walked down memory lane together, recollecting her mother’s life as a homemaker. As the 93rd anniversary of the Women’s Rights Amendment (August 18, 1920) had just passed, I asked the daughter if her mother had ever expressed regrets that she’d never taken up a profession. The woman admitted that her mother had but went on to argue that where children are concerned, a woman should remain in the home.

 Surprised by her firmly held opinion, I offered no objection. The afternoon was warm. The sky was cloud free. Why disturb the universe?

 As I drove home, however, I thought of what the daughter had said. Even if I shared her opinion, the truth is, many women don’t have the luxury of being purely homemakers any more. Families and children would be better off if society accepted that fact. World War II could have been a model for us. Women were encouraged to work outside the home, then. They were needed in machines shops and on assembly lines to replace the men who had gone into battle. The government supported this migration and called for child care centers so mothers needn’t worry about their youngsters. The country understood that it takes a village to win a war.

 That public good will toward women and families is needed today more than ever. Yet there are always those among us, like my friend’s daughter, who embrace old prejudices as if they were chiseled on holy tablets. Phyllis Schlafly was one. She made a career of opposing the women’s Equal Rights Amendment. But as she crisscrossed the nation, making her fiery speeches that a woman’s place was in the home, where were her children? I would ask the same of Sara Palin, an ultra conservative Vice Presidential candidate in 2008 or of Margaret Mead who frowned on women in professions though she was a leader in the field of anthropology.

 In The Feminine Mystique Betty Friedan nailed these females dead to rights:

 Perhaps women who have made it as “exceptional” women don’t really identify with other women. For them, there are three classes of people: men, other women and themselves; their very status as exceptional women depends on keeping other women quiet, and not rocking the boat. (The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, W. W. Norton & Company, 197, pg. 517).

Phyllis Schlafly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Courtesy of arthuride.wordpress.com)

 

 

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6 Comments
  1. Susan Stoner September 12, 2013 at 7:43 am Reply
    My mother was a crane operator in Portland's shipyards. She loved the work and being part of a team doing something important. After the war, like many women, she was dumped back into the home with four kids to raise. It was like stuffing a glorious genie back into the bottle. It ruined her life, it wasted almost limitless potential. Everyone should have the opportunity to live up to his or her potential. Some of us are seagulls who need to sit on the nest, some us are seagulls who need to soar out in the world creating sustenance for family and community. Caroline, you are right, most families can no longer afford to have one parent stay at home. That absence from the home, whether it be male or female, removes an important cohesiveness from our neighborhoods. It makes them less safe and less friendly. It also means there are fewer volunteers and fewer adults watching over the children. That is a loss.
    • Caroline Miller September 12, 2013 at 7:56 am Reply
      As you said about the seagulls, Susan, we should be free to contribute according to our natures. To accomplish that, I'd like to see us work for a world that is more "kid friendly." Maybe if we stopped the wars, we could build that "village" where we become caregivers for each other and especially the young. That goal may be a long wait off, but we out to have it.
  2. Jason Reynolds September 12, 2013 at 10:13 pm Reply
    One of my college chums was Phyllis Schafly's nieces. She and her sisters called her "crazy Aunt Phyllis." Thought you'd like to know. I read Friedan's Feminine Mystique when it came out. I was 13 yrs old. I passed the book around to my friends, saying,"This is what's wrong with our mothers." They were all stay-at-home mothers.
    • Caroline Miller September 13, 2013 at 6:50 am Reply
      You read Feminine Mystique as a boy? I have to tell you, Jason, I am impressed.
  3. margaret September 12, 2013 at 10:50 pm Reply
    At the other end of the spectrum my husband and I were discussing aged care as we passed a facility in the suburbs. It brought unpleasant memories of aged care facilities we have visited in the course of our parents lives before they died and the fundraising work that my husband was involved in for a while. Until the world we live in becomes more 'oldies friendly' we won't achieve the kind of village you speak of Caroline. People who care for the frail aged should have no more than half a dozen clients/patients and only they should be their responsibility - they could then be involved in their family interactions and understand each person's unique history and experience (up to a point anyway), allowing them to form meaningful relationships with those in their care. And why should these carers necessarily be women - if women can operate cranes why can't men care for old people and children? Remuneration is the answer I expect and at both ends of the life spectrum caring roles are poorly paid compared to those involving the operation of heavy machinery ... why should this discrepancy be so marked? ... "you may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one ... imagine".
    • Caroline Miller September 13, 2013 at 6:54 am Reply
      You touch upon an important point, Margaret. The world needs to redream itself. I will touch on this point in a later blog. One question for the dream to consider is roles. No reason why men can't be caregivers. Why aren't they? Money is certainly part of the reason. If we valued work in terms of its contribution to society and not on its capacity to create wealth, we might have a different paradigm altogether. I couldn't agree with you more.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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