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A Twist On My Father’s Motto

Dec 24, 2014
by Caroline Miller
gratuities during the holidays, Holly Peterson, Tipping Points
2 Comments

With the holidays at hand, I always ponder on ways to say “thank you” to people who have made my life easier throughout the year.  Before I moved into a retirement center, the letter carrier always received a card with a cash remuneration, despite the objections of the Post Office.  Ditto for the garbage collector, the gardener and the folks at my mother’s assisted living center.  I don’t give fabulous sums, though I wish I could, but this is the season to recognize people who provide us service throughout the year without much acknowledgement or fanfare.  Sadly, some of the people working in these trades are among the lowest paid in our country so I have no doubt a little extra cash is appreciated.  The question is, how much to give.

 Holly Peterson, writing for Town&Country provides a sliding scale for givers.  She says If you’re an average Joe, give the Maitre D’ at your favorite restaurant a handshake and $100.  If you are a money bags, be prepared to part with $1,000 or “leave your mink at the coat check…”   Seriously?  (“Tipping Points,” by Holly Peterson, Town&Country, Dec/Jan 2014 pg. 184.)

Peterson’s suggestion leads me to understand I’m neither an average Joe nor a money bags.  Who in my circle has a favorite Maître D’ for heavens sake?  Still, I don’t quibble with her intent.  It’s always wise to be on the good side of folks like my garbage man who knows my secret passion for Twinkies.   

 Of course an  annual gift isn’t a bribe but a heartfelt thank you.  Still,  I am mindful that these invisible servers have more power than we care to acknowledge.   Peterson is also clear on that point and cited the example of a tenant who lived at a swanky New York address and wanted to move to an even swankier one.  With her ample bank account in hand, she appeared before a board of her likely new neighbors convinced that with her social status she was a shoe-in.  Unfortunately, the committee decided to do a thorough review and conferred with the doorman of her current residence,  a man who had opened and closed doors for her and carried her packages for 27 years.  When asked what he thought of the woman,  he gave her a thumbs down.  She’d never been anything but rude, he told them.  Needless to say, and to her complete surprise, the applicant was turned down for her new residence. (Ibid, pg. 186.)

 My father had a favorite saying while he was alive: When it came to buying tools, buy the best you can afford.  Sound advice, no doubt, but I’ve never needed many tools.  I hire people, instead; so I’ve learned to readapt his motto.  Always be as generous as you can to people who provide personal service.  By nature, I consider myself a frugal person, but I’ve never found that investing in people ever proved to be a bad bargain. 

doorman

doorman courtesy of iccinfocentre.com

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2 Comments
  1. Christine Webb December 24, 2014 at 7:28 am Reply
    Thank you so much for this very timely reminder, Caroline. I find most often my heart is in the right place, filled with gratitude and good intentions, but the hustle and bustle that accompanies this season of sharing sometimes takes front seat and priorities get re-shuffled. My father, too, had a few favorite sayings, and gratefully, one of my favorites was, "it's never too late." My gift to those of whom I've appreciated so much this year may not be cash, but something tells me, I may have a tool, or two, or perhaps, a pair of new scissors, that can be gifted from the bottom of my heart. Now, to find the paper and tape... Thank you...
    • Caroline Miller December 24, 2014 at 8:17 am Reply
      Thank you for your comment, Christine. Yes, this is the season to stop and consider how we are spending this wonderful gift called life.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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