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Meditation on Bizarro Editors

Jul 23, 2013
by Caroline Miller
bizarre editors, e-magazines
0 Comment

It would be wonderful if editors of fly-by-night e-magazines developed some civility to compensate for their ineptitude. These presumed purveyors of literature might do well to meet the high standards they require of others. Below is one example of an editor’s clumsy instruction to anyone brazen enough to submit to his publication. It’s not the worst example I’ve come across. It’s the most recent.

 We are willing to look at poetry, noir, crime, pulp, bizarro, horror, experimental, absurd, transgressive and literary. Take note though, we will not be interested in any lame overplayed themes and genres. This would be like most paranormal romance, young-adult, or mimicking fan-fiction of recent bestsellers. At least TRY to be original. Unless of course, you think your spin is new and worth us taking a look at, then by all means, send it.

 The word try in capital letters is the editor’s attempt to express ennui, a mannerism far too condescending to writers without whom magazines would cease to exist. Assuming a writer is willing to be schooled, it might be appropriate for the editor to show some evidence of a writer’s craft. In the present example, the editor should be aware that “This” isn’t a pronoun and requires an antecedent. “This” what?“ Theme? Genre? Both? If both then someone should tell him “This” cannot stand for a phrase or an idea, only a noun or pronoun.

 Perhaps the editor was at home with the mumps on the day his second grade teacher taught this lesson. But it would be nice if he would TRY to write clearly and learn his grammar so that we bumbling writers could understand him.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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