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Waiting For Love With Lancome And Chanel

Sep 13, 2016
by Caroline Miller
Channel, Kate Betts, Lancome, old maid, snagging a husband, spinster, The It Revolution, women's economic freedom, women's equality
2 Comments

When I was 29, I realized I had to make a decision. Almost everyone around me was married.  Was I to sail into my 30s an old maid or pick one of the two suitors available, neither of whom interested me?  Despite her failed marriage, my mother wanted me to settle.  She liked the young man with the beautiful teeth and thought my future children would benefit.  Instead, I promised to buy her  a set of dentures and embraced my 30’s as an aging spinster. 

While women have yet to reach full equality in our society, thinking about my rite of passage in my 30s, I believe we have come farther than  I realized.  Today’s single women no longer live under an uncharitable cloud of spinsterhood.  But expectations  about marriage haven’t disappeared entirely. Sit down as a stranger among other women and one will inevitably ask, “Have you any children?”  The presumption is a husband lurks in the shadows.

women at a fragrance counter

Courtesy of pinterest.com

The presumption is understandable.  Throughout most of human history, women have depended upon the charity of men, if not that of a husband, then of a brother or doting father.  Careers for women meant raising  children and, in agrarian days, to work the fields like a draft horse.   By the roaring 20’s, females had a few more economic options but remaining single continued to carry a social stigma.  After all, a  girl claimed her place in society by snagging the right man.

To be honest, the cycle hasn’t changed much, though marriage is no longer a necessity, as Kate Betts points out in, “The It Revolution.”  (Town&Country, September 2016, pg. 153.)  Today’s singles are likely to be financially independent.  The most successful appear in magazines — celebrities and entrepreneurs whose salaries range in six figures.  Nonetheless, the stories about them often focus on the joys and heart breaks of finding a suitable partner. 

Absent economic need, most women still long for the perfect mate. Pass any cosmetic department and see what’s glistening above those glass counters  – Lancome, Yves Saint Laurent, Chanel.  Yes, girls may chose to marry as late as they like.  No pressure.  But most, probably, won’t wait forever.

 

 

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2 Comments
  1. Gaga Cheri September 13, 2016 at 3:20 pm Reply
    Our daughter was single until she married at age 37. She had several interesting jobs, purchased her own home, and had both married and single friends. My husband and I applauded her decision to be single and also applauded her decision to marry. She is now the mother of a 2 week old boy and I think that motherhood was a big factor in her decision to get married and not the desire for the perfect mate. (Her husband is a kind and generous man, though not perfect).
    • Caroline Miller September 13, 2016 at 5:16 pm Reply
      There much to be said for savoring each stage of life. Your daughter took her time, is ready to be a parent. All good as for perfect mates? Only in novels.

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Contact Caroline at

carolinemiller11@yahoo.com

Portland, Oregon author Caroline Miller had distinguished careers as an educator, union president, elected official and artist/advocate.

Her play, Woman on the Scarlet Beast, was performed at the Post5 Theatre, Portland, OR, January/February 2015

Caroline published a serialized novelette, Marie Eau-Claire, on the website, The Colored Lens.  She also published the story Gustav Pavel,  a parable about ordinary lives, choice and alternate potential, on the website Fixional.co.

Caroline has published four novels

  • Ballet Noir
  • Trompe l’Oeil
  • Gothic Spring
  • Heart Land

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